Love Without Losing Yourself: The Art of Keeping Your Standards High
Gang, too often, love is painted as an all-consuming force—something that demands compromise at every turn, requiring you to bend, shrink, and sacrifice just to keep the connection alive. But the truth is, real love doesn’t ask you to abandon yourself. You fucking know that.
If you’ve ever found yourself slipping into the habit of over-giving, tolerating what you shouldn’t, or feeling like you’re losing your identity in a relationship, it’s time to shift the narrative. Here’s how to keep your standards high while embracing love on your terms.
1. Know Who You Are—And FUCKING Own It
Before you can attract the right partner, you need to have a deep understanding of yourself. What are your values? What makes you feel most alive? What do you absolutely refuse to tolerate? Clarity on these things isn’t just important—it’s non-negotiable.
When you show up as your whole, unapologetic self, the right person will respect and celebrate that. If they don’t? They’re not for you. Down the truth with a big glass of water, and move forward.
2. Set Boundaries—and Actually Enforce Them
It’s one thing to say you have standards. It’s another to back them up with action. Remember ya’ll, boundaries are not walls—they’re filters that separate those who respect your energy from those who drain it.
If you need consistency, stop entertaining inconsistency.
If you value honesty, stop excusing half-truths and dodged conversations.
If you want emotional maturity, stop engaging with people who lack it.
When you honor your boundaries, you teach others how to treat you—and you reinforce your own self-respect.
3. Love Should Add, Not Diminish
A relationship should feel like a bonus to your life, not the whole equation. If your happiness, self-worth, or purpose is tied solely to your partner, you risk losing yourself in the process. Love should expand you, inspire you, and add to the life you’ve already built—not take away from it.
Ask yourself: Is this relationship supporting my growth? Or am I constantly adjusting myself to fit into someone else’s world? If it’s the latter, it’s time to reevaluate.
4. Keep Your Standards High—No, They’re Not “Too Much”
One of the biggest lies society tells you is that having high standards means you’re picky or unrealistic. But let’s be clear: wanting consistency, respect, communication, and effort is NOT asking for too much. It’s asking for basic emotional intelligence.
If someone calls your standards “too high,” it’s only because they’re unwilling (or incapable) of meeting them. That’s their limitation, not yours. Keep your standards where they belong—high—and trust that the right person will rise to meet them.
5. Never Settle for Half-Love
Half-love is breadcrumbs, mixed signals, and “situationships” that keep you second-guessing your worth. If you’re constantly questioning where you stand, you already have your answer. Real love doesn’t leave you confused—it provides clarity, security, and unwavering respect.
The moment you accept less than what you deserve, you send a message to yourself and the world that you’re okay with it. But the second you decide that half-love is beneath you, you open the door to something far greater.
JCGANG, love should feel like freedom, not depleting. Your person will meet you at your level, without you having to dumb yourself down or settle. Keep your standards high, your identity intact, and your self-worth non-negotiable. Because the love you deserve? It starts with you.
And that’s on Jenny Fucking Chang.